Today is one of those days when all I want is to hide away in the woods…somewhere. I need an escape from the chase, or lack thereof. It is probably time to take a step back and really look in to what I really want to do.
I may be having an existential crisis (read: quarter-life crisis). My mind is always doing back-flips and somersaults, nothing is constant up there. Which is a great thing, obviously. But, frustrating at the same time. You know.
I am hoping the universe helps me out along side the long pros and cons tables, early mornings and late nights. Somethings gotta give, right?
I will be standing at this crossroad for some time – it’s all up to me.
The thing is, I try to not get attached to material possessions. But, this is not mine. So, I am allowed to enjoy its quirkiness without feeling odd about it.
When you are having a rather below average day, this metal box can put a spring right back to your step. When you’re driving the car, you feel like something wonderful is about to happen. Seriously.
Many laughs in this old school Mercedes. It breaks down quite often, but that also ends in laughs. It’s the splendid, hilarious memories we will not forget. It is has been strangely temperamental lately; it has been with the mechanic for a week.
Collecting these memories is way better than collecting things. I shan’t forget this anytime soon. I write this as I make plans for the next chapter. It is never easy. I have become attached to this lively environment that I am afraid that life out there won’t be as colourful. However, in my life, change and adventure are always welcome! Always!
Monday. It wasn’t all bad. I was busy so I didn’t keep a watchful eye on the clock.
Nothing much happened today. But, Jenny has arrived in SA!!! We are having a booze cruise (just an excuse to have a cocktail party on a boat) on Sunday. I cannot wait for the weekend, I am frothing! Plus, to make the most of the weekend, I have taken Friday off. February will be my 28 days of happiness.
Problem: Fuel prices are increasing. By the end of the month, petrol might be R16 a litre. Uhm…
I think my father thinks I am a boy. The son he never had (I have four sisters). The first thing he does when I get back from work; he drags me outside to have a look at his new tyres and talk cars. I suppose I am the only one that really listens to him when he talks about such. Tyres, construction, cars.
“Well, I can’t describe her exactly – except to say that she was beautiful. She was – tremendously alive.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
Firstly, Happy Birthday Jo! We’re getting old. I hope you’ve had a beautiful day and that life is starting to make more sense. You have such a bright future ahead of you despite these hurdles. Go forth and sparkle with happiness 🙂
Secondly, “I don’t know how to save the world. I don’t have the answers or the answer. I hold no knowledge as to how to fix the mistakes of generations past and present. I only know that without compassion and respect for all of Earth’s inhabitants, none of us will survive, nor will we deserve to” — Leonard Peltier. Thank you for this quote Jason. I like this. And, I just read up about Leonard Peltier. Getting an education. So, you’re not all about your ridiculous jokes :P..
Wednesday. Midweek. Winning!
It was a rather productive day at work. No admin. No bad vibes or I surpassed all of it. I think ignoring petty issues really does work in ones favour.
You know, I think my life has become so busy (I have no idea with what) that I don’t have time to read my books. I always seem to be running around on weekends that I don’t actually get to do half of the thing that I had intended to do. I think I need to start doing things during the weekdays, after work, you know. I do loathe driving after dark. But, just to have more time to do rad things with my life. Some changes need to be made. Soon.
Another thing, I volunteer and have become one of the organisation’s Facilitator for Greenpeace Africa (Durban Branch) so things will get busy soon. I have some ideas. Screenings and forums that I would like to host. There are so many topics that need our attention. Which is another reason why I like Jason’s quote so much. This is our only home. Unless, of course, you think you’ll be signing up to fuck off to Mars. Good luck with that. There will be a discussion taking place in Cape Town regarding Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) which, hopefully, I will be joining via Skype. This practice needs to be stopped before it causes some irreversible damage.
Okay. Bed time. Music has kept me awake this long.
I have something against Mondays. I am sure there is a list in my sub conscious mind. When I finally realise it, I am certain that it will be long. No, it was not a bad day. But it was not a good day either. Just average.
I wish I did not have to deal with sibling rivalry at this age. Are we not getting too old for this? Bickering and “I will not talk to you” crap.. Received a rather rude text message from one of my sisters. I don’t deal well with such. It’s either I get really angry, rage then throw things around or I walk away as if nothing was said. I chose the latter. It requires tons of energy to get angry and its an awful feeling. So, what is the point? I vented to the domestic helper/tea lady at work and she understood. Do not underestimate the power of venting to a stranger. Straight after that, I had already forgotten about the entire situation.
“The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful weapon you can be is an instrument of peace.” — Carlos Santana
Tickets for the Transfari Festival have been booked! Now to tell my father. Oh dear. It starts on the evening of my dad’s birthday. So, I am planning on taking him out for a fancy dinner the night before just so he kind of lets me off the hook. I hope the plan works..
I will talk about the article below tomorrow. I t is not to create a racial divide at all. Read the article. Send me your opinion too.
I woke up at 04:45. Thirty minutes earlier. My friend and I both need to shower before I head to work. I take a taxi then a bus to work. It takes a good hour or so. The roads are quiet. People are still on holiday. Lucky sods.
Sand paper eyes and drowsy all day at work. Gallons of coffee late, still no energy. shit! Day needs to end.
I hate my job. I hate my job even more when I am exhausted. Why are women so catty?
I get home around 18:00. I fart around and talk to my sister and dad about the day. I would like to fall asleep but its just not happening…