Day ? Monday…Day 251..

I cannot keep my eyes open. Every time I do wake from these moments of peace, I feel anxious and confused. I can’t seem to grasp my own emotions at the moment. Scattered everywhere.

I enjoyed a full hour of kick boxing after a stressful day in the office. I was full of energy, aching thighs and poses to see what my bikini bod will look like in the summer. Teehee!

But.

My reality shook me up again. Can I just dream with my eyes open? I need to get out of here. I need another trip to find the beauty in our surroundings, to appreciate being alive. I am grateful everyday to be alive. But, I just need to verify and assure my intentions. What are my intentions?

Also, I came across this: https://m.facebook.com/groups/211687049030414?view=permalink&id=269466983252420

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Love & Light

X

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Day 248..

After counting down the minutes and seconds at work, we had mini celebratory drinks. Celebratory and venting drinks, more like. Long week at work, and it’s a Friday! Always seem so unreal, you know, the 17:00 mark on a Friday.

A colleague, and now new friend, Jen and I went for two drinks (and a shooter). It was supposed to be one drink. Awful being the designated driver. All the time. I wish I had a driver. Or, money for a cab every time I want to head out. Drop Kick Murphey’s on Florida Road is always such a good vibe.

Sounds odd but it was great to have girly advice and venting time. Give insecurities the boot and live life as it comes; enjoy it, savour every moment and show the ones you care about exactly how you feel. No what-ifs. Noted. Many may have the same problem as I. Opening up seems a great deal. So, from this day on, I am going to be more open to the ones I like, love and care about. As Jen said that the worst thing to do is unintentionally push friends and family away because of your unconscious actions. Oef!

What you see

Because, it is a beautiful life..
Because, it is a beautiful life..

Don’t hold back.

 

Love & Light,

x

Weekend Special…Day 241-243

Majestic cannot even describe the weekend I had. I should add on aching limbs, huffing and puffing and one beautiful experience.

"You have reached your destination" *cough cough*
“You have reached your destination” *cough cough*

To be honest, I liked the idea of pretending to be a hobbit trekking to Mordor.

It was my turn to book the accommodation. I’m not quite sure when we said we’d take turns but I kindly obliged. It is fair and makes sense; the same person is not stuck with this laborious task of booking cheap yet decent accommodation. My brain normally has a million ideas and thoughts; I get side tracked quite easily. So, I booked on the morning of our departure. Naturally. Somehow, I managed to secure a 3 bedroom cottage. I have charms and magic powers!

Stoneyhall Farm Castles Cottage.
Stoneyhall Farm Castles Cottage.

A 2 hour 30 minute drive from Durban to Underberg became an over 4 hour drive. Why? It was dark and dangerous. Yes, that’s it! Trucks, winding roads, hunger, all of it. On arrival, it was 2.5 degrees Celsius. In August! I’ve always liked the idea of a cold, dark winter. {Seems like my dreams are slowly becoming a reality, eh?} Anyway, I had to get my shivering booty in a hot shower. We had a fire place! YES! After refusing my handy assistance, Bravo! James for making a cosy fire. (Unfortunately, I do not have photographic evidence).

We were running behind schedule. I think that African timing rubs off on people quite easily. Teehee!
Saturday.
Hike Day.
The road leading to Sani Pass border control was an absolute nightmare. Gravel. With rocks the size of a head! Angular heads! Approximately 15 km of this. After cursing ad sweating bullets, we made it sans punctured tyres. I am sending in my CV to become the stig. There!
I was not mentally prepared for this. I knew it would be strenuous but I didn’t think it would be as challenging. I have my reasons as to why it was so difficult. Not excuses, reasons. ūüôā I will not dwell in to those though.

It took 2 and a half hours to reach the summit. The destination. I said a little silent prayer as we made it to the Lesotho border control. I also really appreciated the school kids giving us a round of applause for making it to the top. I think my “I think I am about to cry because I am so happy and proud of myself” face deserved that kind gesture. We met up with two friends that were dirt road biking. They were camping in -10 degree weather like Vikings. Mental.

I cannot describe the hike. Here are some of the photos:

After that awful drive, there is still a bright smile on my face..
After that awful drive, there is still a bright smile on my face..
Mmmm, take it all in.
Mmmm, take it all in.

The Drakensberg

It was that cold.
It was that cold.
"Marvel at the general splendour"
“Marvel at the general splendour”
one. step. at. a. time.
one. step. at. a. time.
"Mamma, I made it!"
“Mamma, I made it!”
There. The Border. I crossed it.
There. The Border. I crossed it.

We walked back down after lunch. Much quicker. We realised how steep the hike was on the way down. Rolling off the little pebbles and trying to not fall flat on our bottoms. We couldn’t run down as we had hoped. We were in a rush as we had two hours to reach the SA border pass before the gates closed.

Say, "Aaaah"
Say, “Aaaah”

If that was not enough for the weekend. We went on another mission on Sunday morning. My last day at the berg. A trek to find the Bushman rock art.

Map. Snacks. Walking shoes. We were set.

We did not find the art work. We both definitely know how to read a map. However:

To Three Pools We Go..."If I take one more step, it'll be the furthest from home I've ever been."
To Three Pools We Go…”If I take one more step, it’ll be the furthest from home I’ve ever been.”
Let's go back..
Let’s go back..

Somehow, the drive back was not as long. I was back in Durban by 18:00. Ready to pass out. This weekend has by far been one of the best this year. To many more marvelous weekends. Cheers!

 

Love & Light

x

Weekend Special: Day 46 & 47

And maybe a bit about day 45 as well.

Valentine’s Day. I don’t really hate it. I don’t mind it. Just another day really. Don’t feel less loved just because I don’t get chocolate and roses, or sweet texts and phone calls. It was a normal day, really. Work. Go home, hang out. Chill. Sister and¬†I got¬†a bit¬†excited watching¬†Sister Act! I had¬†seen Jenny the night before. To say goodbye. She’s back in Belgium now. It was lovely having her back here, even though I saw her three times in the duration of her stay here because I live in a prison with my dad as the very strict warden. He doesn’t approve of girls driving alone at night. Or, to girls that drink alcohol. Or, that to boys. I don’t think he wants me to leave the house really. The “rebel” that I am though, I just leave. YOLO.

Reunion: Girls having fun..
Reunion: Girls having fun..

Day 46. Saturday. 15 February. The day after sort of feeling, haha! Nothing worth noting.

Day 47. Sunday. Playing nanny and chef de cuisine. I nailed that oxtail! And my mashed potatoes looked and tasted (I would imagine) like something out of Michel Roux’s kitchen. My sister wanted to go out and get all romantic with her fianc√©. I offered to babysit. Little did I know that he’d poo like 5 minutes after she leaves. My nephew is going to be 3 months old on Tuesday. I have never gagged so much, nearly vommed on this poor baby. Crap! I swear I think he was having a kick out of it. I am ending the day with a good glass of¬†red wine and winding down to Six Pence None the Richer. I have been feeling rather anxious this weekend. I haven’t finished a single movie that I have started.

The Nephew and I ..
The Nephew and I ..

I have some roller coaster emotions the passed week but I just didn’t have the time to jot everything down. Or the energy. I know what I want, and I¬†am going for it.

x

“If you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere. You better wake up and pay attention”¬†—¬†Sister Act (1993)

Day 31

Fridays always drag on.

But, I am a little excited for later. For the first time ever, I am going to sort out my natural hair, from scratch!! Haha, I know it’s no awesome house party with cool people on a Friday night. But, somehow this seems more exciting! Or, I am just becoming lame.

The day was bearable. Even though one of my colleagues and I were literally counting down the minutes until 17:00.

Oh gosh. I have a confession.¬†So after work I decided to head down to the Food Lovers Market with my sister to get some veggies. I bought five, fucking FIVE, different cakes and pastries! All for myself. I also bought my sisters their own doughnuts so they don’t ask for my goodies. I am a piglet.

Having a cream horn with tea this minute.

YOLO.

I thought I would post photos of how I managed my hair. But, in short: had to cut the braids, shampoo, apply a leave in conditioner for 60 minutes, air dry, apply hair treatment for natural hair (AKA Afros), smother in castor oil then plait some “Bantu” plaits so the hair is easier to manage. Thank you Jenny and Google for the help!

I do have before and after images. But, they can’t seem to upload. Better luck next time.

Love & Light. x

Day 29

Firstly, Happy Birthday Jo! We’re getting old. I hope you’ve had a beautiful day and that life is starting to make more sense. You have such a bright future ahead of you¬†despite these hurdles. Go forth and sparkle with happiness ūüôā

I MISS my friends. Every single one of them.
I MISS my friends. Every single one of them.

Secondly, “I don’t know how to save the world. I don’t have the answers or the answer. I hold no knowledge as to how to fix the mistakes of generations past and present. I only know that without compassion and respect for all of Earth’s inhabitants, none of us will survive, nor will we deserve to” — Leonard Peltier.¬† Thank you for this quote Jason. I like this. And,¬†I just read up about Leonard Peltier. Getting an education. So, you’re not all about your ridiculous jokes :P..

Wednesday. Midweek. Winning!

It was a rather productive day at work. No admin. No bad vibes or I surpassed all of it. I think ignoring petty issues really does work in ones favour.

You know, I think my life has become so busy (I have no idea with what) that I don’t have time to read my books. I always seem to be¬†running around on weekends that I don’t actually get to do half of the thing that I had intended to do. I think I need to start doing things during the weekdays, after work, you know. I do loathe driving after dark. But, just to have more time to do rad things with my life. Some changes need to be made. Soon.

A much needed admission
A much needed admission

Another thing, I volunteer and have become one of the organisation’s Facilitator for Greenpeace Africa (Durban Branch) so things will get busy soon. I have some ideas. Screenings and forums that I would like to host. There are so many topics that need our attention. Which is another reason why I like Jason’s quote so much. This is our only home. Unless, of course, you think you’ll be signing up to fuck off to Mars. Good luck with that. There will be a discussion taking place in Cape Town regarding Fracking (Hydraulic Fracturing) which, hopefully, I will be joining via Skype.¬†This practice¬†needs to be stopped before¬†it¬†causes some irreversible damage.

Food for Thought
Food for Thought

Okay. Bed time. Music has kept me awake this long.

Love & Light, x

Day 28

Aaaah, I couldn’t type anything while I was raging about these mosquitos! I have seven bites on one leg! Why me?!

Feeling rather down together. Not sad as such. Just down. I hate how condescending my colleagues are. It’s frustrating. Its unnecessary. I can’t even get in to that topic without getting ready to vent and rage and call them all sorts of awful words. But, no. I am better than that. I will walk away from the temptation of giving them a mouthful; or even writing about it. I’d rather not give off those negative vibes.

When I got home, my father made me wash my car. Thought it was a mission but I got in to it. Pretty stoked I did. I got the family out, monitoring me. She is clean. {Yes, she is still nameless}..

Love & Light, x

 

 

Day 27

I have something against Mondays. I am sure there is a list in my sub conscious mind. When I finally realise it, I am certain that it will be long. No, it was not a bad day. But it was not a good day either. Just average.

I wish I did not have to deal with sibling rivalry at this age. Are we not getting too old for this? Bickering and “I will not talk to you” crap.. Received a rather rude text message from one of my sisters. I don’t deal well with such. It’s either I get really angry, rage then throw things around or I walk away as if nothing was said. I chose the latter. It requires tons of energy to get angry and its an awful feeling. So, what is the point? I vented to the domestic helper/tea lady at work and she understood. Do not underestimate the power of venting to a stranger. Straight after that, I had already forgotten about the entire situation.

“The most valuable possession you can own is an open heart. The most powerful¬† weapon you can be is an instrument of peace.” — Carlos Santana

Tickets for the Transfari Festival have been booked! Now to tell my father. Oh dear. It starts on the evening of my dad’s birthday. So, I am planning on taking him out for a fancy dinner the night before just so he kind of lets me off the hook. I hope the plan works..

I will talk about the article below tomorrow. I t is not to create a racial divide at all. Read the article.  Send me your opinion too.

x

Day 26

A most perfect day. A day cast in perfection, maybe.

I hope that I dream about rainbows, hot air balloons, candy floss and sunny markets. It’ll just complete the day. Haha..a girl can dream!

Started off by waking up and looking out the window — a damn beautifully fantastic sunny day. Hot. Durban Summer. Sweet. Market day is going down well. As usual, I was late and forgot to tell the friend I was meeting up with (JP) that he could possibly stall a little. He was mellow, didn’t get lost. Got there in a flash (under the speed limit, ūüėČ ). Hmm, maybe I am sweating a little¬†but it’s so good to be out. First things first, food. Everyone knows¬†that markets are all about food. Good food. Found a shady spot and spoke for hours with an¬†ice coffee in hand. Bliss. JP had a thought (some would say it’s a New Years Resolution) and decided to be more fun this year. Do everything and anything that is awesome. So, this was one of the fun excursions. We will be taking more of these trips. Chris, a friend and ex, also joined in the fun. It was splendid. We just had so much to talk about. Thank G-d the boys got along. I was a tad worried about that. They got to talk about gaming and other random stuff that guys talk about. But, I cannot get over how lovely today has been. Sinking my feet in the sand, getting a natural scrub..

After the market, we all decided we needed a drink. Just one. We drove up further north to Umdloti (I could be mistaken). Followed Chris on his motor cycle. I was a little worried about that — he looked a little wobbly on it. JP trusts my driving as he left his car in Umhlanga (Where the¬†Wonder market was)¬†so we could drive up together. A mini road trip I’d say. JP drove us back. I like being driven. AND, I got my car radio’s volume up!! It’s a little faulty and need to sort it out.

Wonder Market, Chris Saunders Park
The view near Beach Bums

 

Saturday was so mellow. Drove to the South Coast to deliver some material at my father’s construction site. A two hour drive. Also, a lovely road trip with my sisters. Sing-alongs in the car and chit-chatting, and getting lost. Loads of laughing.

Friday. Wolf of Wall Street. Friend’s birthday. She decided that she would rather watch a movie with all of us instead of partying then waking up with a siff hang over the next day. Fantastic life choice. My opinion — the movie is too long that one can get a little side tracked. It is really good though. Do not watch with a parent. That could be a little awkward. LOADS of sexual scenes. Just a warning. Good to see the friends. Good to know what the whole Oscar hype is about.

What’s also good to know is when you realise that you have finally accepted and closed the one chapter of your life with no regrets and bitterness, and you open a new one with loads of adventure and laid back fun — with good people that really care about you.

Everyone Deserves Happiness

Love and Light, x.

 

 

 

Day 21

Where did all the days go??

This is insane. Project 365 is proving to be quite a challenge. Are you telling me that I can’t find half an hour in my day to reflect and write my two cents worth? Life.

Tuesday. Normally quite boring. The cleaning lady at work has a poor pregnant neighbour that she had been telling me about. I spent the weekend collecting disposable nappies, baby creams and some of my old clothes to give her. I felt so heart sore that she was going to bring a life on Earth meanwhile she cannot even clothe or feed herself. Stereotypically in these situations, the father of this unborn baby has fled the scene. It felt so good to do something for someone that I have never met before. It really does not hurt to be kind. Not even a follicle.

On Saturday. Or, Friday. My weekends are just all merged in to one day. I decided to watch 12 Years a Slave. I am glad I did. What a darn slap in the face. I urge every single human being to watch the film. Black & White. Slavery was a reality some what 150 years ago. That’s not so long ago if you think about the Earth’s history. It’s pretty much like it was happening yesterday. God, what an awful, awful thing! I ask myself how people could possibly have so much hate towards another race. I will never tolerate anybody, black or white, using the term nigger loosely. Such a disgusting connotation to it. It was also disgusting to see that if a white man needed a vagina, they would go for the black female slaves. After all, they had no feelings, no rights — just vaginas. Somehow, I have a feeling this could still be happening in the twenty-first century but in a more subtle way. What a shame. Of course, I¬†promote a non-racist, non-sexist environment, but it does not mean that I over look all the wrong in my country, especially. I wish to change people’s perceptions and mind sets. Watch the film and weep..

12 years a slave 12_Years_A_Slave

I have been making some fun plans with some friends. I think I owe it to myself. God, I love having a car, haha!

Finally, Man United supporters have been rather quiet after the Chelsea thrashing. Eina! And naturally, the coach is getting the rough end of it.

Oh, I would really LOVE a pair of these..dream a little VELVETI need a sponsor? xx